An Update

I'm currently writing my first full length play. It's based on my own experiences - isn't that always the way?

So, what have I been doing? Allow me to summarize in the form of a list of short, explanatory phrases...

1 - I liked a guy, fell a bit... but he was a, what's the word, oh yeah, a douche.
2 - Had Christmas, ate lots, felt like a stuffed turkey. Appropriately.
3 - NYE mainly consisted of drunkness my friend's describe as "epic" (I thank you).
Antics included:

• Attempting to introduce a friend to her ex's new lover. They'd met before, it was awkward.
• Smoking. But never a full one, about forty million half cigarettes. Which is better. Right?
• Sitting delicately (lie) on the bottom of a town statue and declaring myself completely sober (lie). Loudly.
• Danced to a Justin Beiber song. No I don't know which one. I don't care. Stop reading if you care. For serious.

4 - I have discovered that "inabit" is the new "goodbye"

5 - Also "obviously" is the new "durrr"

6 - I moved to South London and have to get a train to work every morning.

7 - Apart from I don't work there anymore for sanity purposes. Chapter of life be closed.

8 - I lead a revolution in my bedroom. 

9 - Re-discovered Charity Shops with my lovely new housemate and old friend H. Bought a handpainted picture of Marilyn Monroe for £2.00 and a silk scarf for £3.00. H got a bag for £2.00. Every shop we walked into went silent at our appearance which I can only put down to H's leopard print coat and my red lipstick and shiny high tops. Perhaps not their usual customer.

10 - Got a kindle and headphones for Christmas. I'm so kitted out on a commute, even I would think I was cool. And I rarely think I'm cool. Seriously. Have you seen me watching Spike on Buffy? No cool person drools.

11 - I now drink a whole mahoosive bottle before I go to sleep. Of water. Should have specified.

12 - I saw a show called Constellations at the Royal Court which was one of the most incredible pieces of theatre I've ever seen. 

13 - Managed to win a game of Solitare in under 60seconds. An achievement if there ever was one.

14 - Hair has now grown to below my nipples when they are in the bra. It just hit the nipples when they're not. I'm talking about half an inch, but still - Oh God I'm getting OLD. Too much information? 

15 - Got a nose stud that I haven't lost in over a month. Another achievement worth mentioning.

16 - Learnt my Best Friend has got a promotion. I was surprised until I remembered she's amazing. And she is moving in with her boyfriend. I was surprised until... I'm still surprised. He's nice. 

I also have started having a re occuring dream where I fly across and then dive, expertly, into a gigantic ocean. Couple of things - I know oceans are pretty gigantic but this was bigger, it's a dream okay? And I can't dive, so that's the nicest bit. I then swim right to the bottom where it's dark and I can't breathe but it's okay. The darkness goes red but is still dark. Then, suddenly I'm on Facebook.

I have issues. 

Numb bum = blog done.